I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
