so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize
