i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
