I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
