I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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