help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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