well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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