does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
