she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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