:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
