ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
