i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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