It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
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By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
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I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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