And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
