I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
