I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize