Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
