singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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