I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
