u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
