i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
