You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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