we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
