Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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