oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize