Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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