I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me