Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.