I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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