wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
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