I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
