If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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