He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
