He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
