Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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