just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
