lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
