So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just high enough for therapy.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
