onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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