ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize