How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
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I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
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He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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