Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
