Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
