Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
