I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
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I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.