He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
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I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
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At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
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I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken