I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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