My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
