You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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