She went from zero to smokin in five shots
false alarm. still invincible.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
