I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
