If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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