he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
