this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Randomize
