called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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