But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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