I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I looked at my own cervix.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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