I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
