just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
