how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Semen is not good for contacts.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
