We won't sleep together?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize