Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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