She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
