just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize