he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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