You're so nebulous sometimes
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
