Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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