I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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