weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
